Thanksgiving Encounter

In our Thanksgiving Day group of seventeen, there was a friend's father-in-law who joined us. In our post-supper sharing time, it came to light that he was a pastor in the midwest and that his first wife had died in a car accident over a decade ago, in a car driven by her own 16 year old son. When I later asked him how he managed that event in his life, he told me that it "took him apart". He said he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he couldn't function. He was left with four grieving boys to raise on his own. When the boys grew up and left home, he hated to come home at night to an empty house. He eventually found our friend's widowed mother and they happily married each other.

Since he was a pastor, I asked him if God ever "spoke" to him, did he ever get any light on such a devastating event? He said, "No, nothing." He then added this explanation, which I am paraphrasing here. I found it to be both wise and consistent with my own experience. He said, "The Bible says this broken world is sentenced to decay. The decay comes randomly. God doesn't choose one to live and one to die. It is the process of decay that affects us all in some way". That's exactly what it feels like to me. Silence from God and random decay.

Then he added, " We trust Him anyway. There are no answers here. We just trust Him anyway, with all we know and all we don't know".

So I am doing that today, and every day, and missing my son terribly all the while.

I love you and miss you, Joey. It isn't the same without you. Your absence is profound...

Thankful

Thankful for my beautiful son who filled our lives with such color and depth...

Thankful for the hope of the resurrection...


Thankful for God's provision and bounty despite difficult times...

Thankful for my companion and closest friend of 40 years, through sunshine and shadow...

Thankful for being spared sorrow upon sorrow twice this year, and for Sean's gradual healing.

Thankful for every last one of them. They are the bricks and mortar of my life.

I love all these people so very much.

Thankful for a sweet visit from my 80 year old mother. (yes, 80.)

Thankful for the birth of precious Mikela, and the miraculous moments that make life worth living.

Thankful for the new farm and anticipating memorable times with family and friends.

Thankful for the little things that make me laugh.

Coal (the black one) bosses his two girlfriends around all day long and they don't even seem to notice. I vote for more farm animals. They make the world a better place.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end.

They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness, O God.

Baby Mikela Arrives

May I introduce to you baby Mikela? Oops, she is hiding in the plastic bin. Er, may I introduce to you the, uh, labor coaches and assistants?



Okay, one moment. Daddy is getting her all wrapped up for her close up...

Isn't she beautiful? All pink and sweet and precious?

Here is her gorgeous Hawaiian Mommy, all radiant and basking in the Aloha.

Twelve hours of hard work and she looks like this! She is glowing with motherhood, and the accomplishment of her natural birth, and her new almost flat tummy!
Healthy baby, healthy mommy. A singular accomplishment and nothing finer than bringing a baby into the world in such a healthy drug-free way.

Can you hear the background music? ..."I am Woman"!

Ahh, and here she is all snug and cozy, safely sleeping on her adoring daddy's chest...

She's a contented little girl cuz she finally got to meet mom and dad.

Aren't they just beaming?! My daughters were there for the big moment. I am so proud of them. They are the best kind of friends. There through thick and thin... and childbirth. Baby Mikela is a very blessed little girl to be welcomed and surrounded by so much love.

Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward .

My Amazing Son-in-law

Sean and Me

This wonderful guy, my SIL for 16+ years, is actually beyond amazing. He is so amazing I can't even tell you how amazing he is because it's not allowed. Let's just say there is not an American alive who wouldn't be proud and impressed by his service to his country.
Everyone who knows him is kind of in awe, and we, his family, simply adore him.
But now his back has been injured and he needs our prayers...so please remember him for God's healing touch and a speedy recovery.


Isaiah 6:8
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

The Really Big News

No matter what else is going on in our lives right now...

Nothing quite matches up to the importance of this one...

We have a grandchild who is behind the wheel of a moving vehicle...

...with permit in hand.

We are all taking turns coaching him, and he WILL BE an excellent, safe driver when we are done.

Guaranteed.

Furthermore, (and he agrees), there will be no texting while driving!

Halloween 1981

I love this picture.

I love the joy on my face as I readied my children for trick-or-treating. I remember their excitement to get ready, and little Joey standing so still so I could finish drawing on his whiskers. My daughters and our neighbor watching so intently. I love that I hand-sewed their costumes. This was before China made all the inexpensive handmade costumes we enjoy now. In those days, it was either a cheap plastic mask or a rare home-sewn costume. I love the proud way they wore them, my 2 princesses and a leopard, and how they played in them long after Halloween was over. How I loved being a mother. So much work but loads of fulfillment in it.

I miss those days.

If you're a tired mother of little ones, I hope you are reminded to enjoy this precious moment. They grow up and this is gone forever.

16 Candles

This Red Velvet cake tastes better than it looks... though I just love the twisty candles.

SURPRISE! Chase was not expecting this--a campout at the new farm!

From left to right: his dad, Chase, little Aidan, Papa D, Uncle Drew, and four of his hockey friends.

The Family Photo
(with Maggie dog in the background)

Good friends and a freshly caught fish on the line.

They gathered the wood, they dug the firepit, they built the ring, they built the fire, they tended the coals. There are few life experiences as enjoyable as sitting by the camp fire watching the hobo stew cook to perfection.

His mom organizes the sleepover in the tents. Despite what they think, 16 year old boys still need mothering, and mothers of 16 year old boys still need to fuss over them. Nanas too.

16 years ago today we were in a natural childbirth clinic watching him being born. His grandpa and his Uncle JJ were outside the door listening to his first wails. We were elated with the wonder of this brown-eyed boy--our first grandchild. Now he's 6' tall and we are shrinking.

The cut achilles tendon has kept him off the ice this season.
The new driver's permit seems to have eased his pain a bit.
A birthday party helps too.
We love this guy so very much.

Psalm 127:3
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

City Girls

At the theatre to see Chicago

In Times Square

At the Plaza Hotel

In Central Park

Intense, alive NYC. The girls left their mark.

Cut off as I am, it is inevitable that I should sometimes feel like a shadow walking in a shadowy world. When this happens I ask to be taken to New York City. Always I return home weary but I have the comforting certainty that mankind is real and I myself am not a dream.

Helen Keller

---

Birthday at Bloomie's

Rachel takes a bite of poached pear and creme brulee

Food or Art?

The Birthday Girl and Raspberry Sorbet

The girls and I went to NYC for Jaime's birthday weekend. Rachel came from LA and met us there. We started Jaime's special day with a delectable first class three-course brunch at Petrossian. The food was divine. The service impeccable. We rolled out of there two hours later looking for a way to walk off the poundage. Bloomingdales seemed the perfect solution.

Unfortunately for us, Bloomingdales is an 8-floor carnival of eye candy and every counter is designed to tempt you beyond your endurance. We thought we'd successfully hurdled the makeup counter gauntlet, when we ran into the guy in the tux holding a tray full of champagne glasses. That was the beginning of the end. The music was right and they gently waved the chocolate truffles under our noses. Before we could say "credit limit", we were sitting in chairs before preening cosmeticians and being creamed and pampered and cell-plumped beyond recognition! Blooming at Bloomies!

JoAnne's mud treatment.

Nature girl Rachel gets ready for the prom. At least.

Jaime hangs on every word!

Beauty is serious, people.

Guy Phillip, Borghese Makeup Artist to the Stars, gets a group shot of us glamour girls for his portfolio. Ain't we sumthin'!

Happy Birthday Jaime girl. We love you!

Enjoy your new jar of beauty mud!

October Overload

Relaxing in the Boston Public Garden--seems so long ago...

I had an 18 day vacation up the Eastern seaboard--to Boston, Maine, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, and Quebec, Canada--so you'd think I would be, herewith, displaying one beautiful Kodak moment after another. That would be expected. And you'd think I would be grateful enough not to complain about anything, after such a grand tour and time away from the usual responsibilities.

But October is a big month in our family and it's kicking my behind.

In October, we are celebrating 6 family birthdays and our anniversary. This past weekend we put together a surprise party for my 16 year old grandson. So my post-vacation re-entry was fast and fierce. I went through the front door with all engines running full throttle. I threw everything out of my suitcases,(minus one tennis shoe obviously stolen by TSA) and have yet to finish washing our clothes.

We also closed escrow on a little dream we've had--a farm/ranch/getaway place-- and we've been working overtime trying to get the lights working and the cobwebs swept away. In the midst of all that, I also work out 4 days a week, cook Family Dinner every Monday night, participate in a women's Bible study group, and teach Sunday school. If you aren't overloaded by my chaos yet, there's more where all that came from. Worst of all for me is that I have a very dear group of bereaved mom's that I meet with online. We are in the process of working through a devotional book together, and my hectic schedule has basically stalled everyone out. Oh me, oh my. Overload.

So I hope this explains my long silence here, my lack of photos, and my email, blog comment and facebook gaps.

I will get it together some day, but probably not this Fall...nor probably even by Christmas.

But I haven't stopped thinking about you all and missing you.

More later.

What We Saw Today

Walking near Faneuil Hall in Boston
We saw this monument and were captured by it
Who was this bronze man and how did he earn the statue?
No signs, no labels, no answers.
We asked a passerby who also didn't know.

Our son, 4 years ago, apparently wondered the same thing.
His 6'2" frame was dwarfed by the bronze man
but he tried to match his stride.
Later, reading our son's blog to remember what he did in Boston
We came upon this photo.
Rachel's precious camera work.

Today we walked where he walked
Without knowing.
Without knowing
We breathed his air.
We noticed what he noticed.
We walked in his footsteps.
Without knowing
We shared this memory.

Time and distance are relative things.
It was our own monumental shared moment.
A gift for today.

Baby Kaia in the Arms of Jesus

bleeding heart flowers
I do not know the details, I only know from Marina that precious baby Kaia went to Heaven today. Please pray for the Zautner family who I know are heartbroken beyond words, intensely missing their beautiful little girl and grieving deeply. Please surround them with love and comfort by leaving a message of condolence on their blog link HERE.


Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Pray for Baby Kaia

Double-click here for the link to Baby Kaia's blog

Baby Kaia was born to our dear friends, Jared and Alana, in January. She was born with a damaged heart and has been fighting for her life for the past eight months while awaiting a heart transplant. Yesterday was a day of crisis, and the family has asked that we put out an all points bulletin for prayer. So please remember this beautiful little girl and her family in your prayers.

Best Friends

Joey's best friend, Kevin, and his beautiful family came to visit us last week. Kevin, his wife Molly, and adorable baby Josie, who was named after our son, brought love, laughter and comfort to our home. His mom, Melissa, who is my best friend, and her husband and her other two sons also came, and it was like the good old days when we all used to go on vacation together. It was emotional to see them, as we rarely ever saw Kevin apart from Joey, and it definitely felt like someone was missing. . .but seeing him also brought us tremendous joy and comfort. Jaime said it was like being with her brother again, and there was much happiness in our home while they were here.

Here Isabel gets to hold our sunshine girl, Josie.

Josie is always smiling great big twinkly smiles and she's obviously inherited major IQ points from her double veterinarian parents. At just over a year, she "speaks" sign language and can parrot just about anything you ask her to say.

On our last night together, we watched home movies of all of our kids growing up together those many years ago just a few doors apart on the same street. We have so many memories, they all run together. They grew up going to the same schools and the same church, and shared every barefoot summer vacation. Some of the videos we hadn't looked at in years. It was just so good to remember how much fun they all had together as children, and how richly interwoven our lives have been for so many decades. It takes time and hundreds of experiences to create that kind of bond.

In order left to right: Tom, Jeremy, Molly, Kevin, Joe, Josie, Ryan, Melissa.

I can't tell you how much I love these people.

They are the best kind of friends--with you on the mountain tops and down in the valleys, and every place in between.

Proverbs 18:24

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Hope in a Troubled World

This is the last time I saw my baby bird last weekend. He was nestled under the hedge and under his father's breast and trusting him to take care of him. In a similar way, I am trusting my Heavenly Father to take care of me. The father bird continues to stay in our yard, so I think the baby is hidden someplace safe.

At the beach on Sunday, I watched our pastors baptize some new believers. I love these beach baptisms. It's just a breezy, relaxing and refreshing way to worship God in one of the most beautiful places He created.

I especially like it with an assortment of people on the beach and body surfers all around watching the show. I think a beach baptism gives spectators pause to think about their own souls, and that's a meaningful thing for any of us.

Here's our little church, gathered on the sand and watching as Joe plays his guitar.

The question is, "Why would anyone in our modern world bother to get baptized?" Some view it as an outdated and irrelevant ritual, meaningless in our high-tech, but troubled world. With all the suffering around us, it's hard to believe in a God who cares, anyway.

But this girl's arm says it all.

God is Love.

It fills me with hope just to see it.

That simple phrase, God's declaration about His own character, lifts me from despair and allows me to bear the loss of my son, and all the other losses of this life.

(and even the sadness about the bird's nest.)

Despite what we see around us, we have a God who says He loves us. He tells us that no matter how things look, nothing can ever really separate us from His love. It's that irrepressible love, whispering quietly in my heart, that helps me patiently endure.

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.