We cannot find the good without some disciplined thought.
We have unmet demands. We have disappointments.
Nothing proceeds according to schedule.
Is it His fault? Did He fail us?
Perhaps we haven't the right to plan. Not here or now.
Perhaps that act breaks the unwritten rules of the universe.
Perhaps He doesn't listen to our pleading. It has already been ordained.
Perhaps our desperate cries in the dark of night are an anxious waste of breath.
Perhaps He is busy. It is a big universe and we are very small and almost totally inconsequential.
Perhaps we are very important and we have lessons to learn that only a hollow no will teach us.
Perhaps that's it.
That's where I land when I hopscotch myself to the end of the chalky squares.
Perhaps I am very loved, and perhaps there is a plan.
Perhaps it isn't as random or existential as it looks.
Perhaps unsought lessons will be learned, and perhaps I will be perceptibly changed,
and perhaps all will be well in the end.
Like a bride beautiful in her white gown, I will enter and see my groom at the altar,
smiling at me, with a ring in his pocket, and love in his eyes and devotion in his heart and
scars from battles he has fought for my hand.
And that is when I will live happily
for ever after.
Perhaps I can thank Him for the promise of that day.
Perhaps thankful doesn't even begin to say it.
This is beautiful, heartfelt and honest, Karen.
Blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family.
I really want to share this on Thanksgiving because there is so much pain but will just be thankful for those that will be with us. I would love to copy this and put on the cabinet however. That is if I knew how to do that? Love you much Sharon
I was recently thinking Karen if God really loves me as the Bible says He does then why do I struggle so to believe it? Shouldn't it be so clear and evident that no questions arise. After all "God is love!" You and I know in part why some of those struggles exist for me. I wasn't raised where I could associate God's love with any examples I experienced growing up, save for me being given three meals a day, a roof over my head and clothes to wear. It seems since my health issues my questions have become even more provoking! The wall I keep bouncing into is that God is perfect. Even in my disappointments with Him I have only myself to blame for being disappointed because He is the one that makes no mistakes. Praying and not being heard or prayers not being answered brings about even more questions concerning His love for me but since He is perfect it rules out any arguments on my behalf but I manage occasionally regardless. That's when in the midst of grappling with all that doesn't go right or the disappointments in life and of course questioning His love for me I'm left with the conclusion that God Himself was a man of many sorrows in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ. It says that Jesus suffered the cross because of the joy set before Him. I'm thinking how marvelous and wonderful that joy must have been for Him to suffer as He did but what's more to realize how great God's love toward us is. I would be so bold as to say that a part of the joy He felt and saw was seeing all of us share in that same joy!
Thank you for your beautiful words Karen. You have a gift of writing words of encouragement that force us to climb out of our everyday trenches in life which cause us to soar, at least for a little while, to new heights! Thanks for that and thanks for letting me ramble.
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