Monday, July 27, 2009

Two Gifts

On Saturday, my daughter JoAnne and granddaughter Clare showed up on my front porch with this bouquet from the Farmer's Market. I love the mix of unusual flowers and the vibrant colors. Flowers just lift my spirits. Once in my house, I can't keep my eyes off of them.

Some people, whom I will never understand, consider them a waste of money because they fade. But for me, since everything fades, (including me), I believe beautiful things are meant to be savored up close and enjoyed while we have them. Like people.

Here's a closeup of the textures and colors. Flowergardengirl could identify all the flowers, but not me. Still, I love those unnamed flowers. Thank you, sweet JoAnne and Clare, for all the love in that little bouquet.

The quilt below came in the mail last week. It is from my fellow grieving mom and friend, Sharon. Thank you dear sweet Sharon.

Handmade. Heartfelt. Hawaiian.

I think it's made from 6 different fabrics. It is beautiful and vibrant, like the flowers. I will snuggle in this quilt all winter long and it will remind me of Sharon and her beautiful daughter Angie and my beautiful son Joey and our shared bond of knowing. She, like me, lives with daily sorrow and longing. She soothes herself by sewing quilts, like I soothe myself by blogging. I can imagine how many precious tears flowed while this quilt was being made. This comforter is really and truly a comfort-er.

And after the loss of a child, it's all about comfort. It's an all-consuming quest. Your once orderly insides become sideways, undone, shaken, twisted, stretched-- unsettled on a frightening scale. They are jumbled and they cry all the time, whether anyone can see it or not. You seek anything that will bring some quiet and peace to all that internal chaos. So beauty does that for me. It quiets me. The flowers and the quilt quiet me.

Isaiah 66:13
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;

4 comments:

karengberger said...

You are a kindred spirit. Beauty also speaks comfort to me, and the flowers and the quilt are truly lovely.
I am sewing quilts for the hospital where Katie was treated. She loved her quilt, which I made for her (with help from a friend) when I could barely sew a seam. Katie had it with her all through everything, and now it comforts me to have it. It also comforts me to make them for other children.
Thank you for sharing your joys and your sorrows honestly.

Anonymous said...

so glad you liked your flowers, mama... and i love your analogy of beholding fleeting beauty up close, so true! Good nite... love you forever.

lorensaved77 said...

Wow Karen, That was so eloquently put, yet healing as well...I wonder sometimes why I can go from Laughter to such sorrow in a matter of hours.
I wonder why the pain of losing a child is soooo much
more difficult than losing a loved one other than a child. The sorrow is so much deeper,and we do seek to be comforted, a comfort that we seek, but don't completely find, until I suppose,we reach our child again in Heaven at least that's what I hope for!

Love you and Miss you!

lorensaved77 said...

A foot note to my last note...
I think this person said it best!

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976, 154