Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Wish...


Wish I could just check in with my son


Wish God would speak to me and settle my heart once and for all


Wish I would have a dream like Gannett Girl's dream (but I'm so glad she did)


Wish my friend's daughter didn't have a seizure today after losing her son to a seizure 2 years ago


Wish the Dodgers would win for my husband's sake


Wish I could lose 10 pounds and keep it off


Wish I had the energy/motivation/organizational skills I once had


Wish I could give my children everything they need right now


Wish my family wasn't feeling the stress of grief


Wish we could talk more about how much it hurts


Wish I could write what I feel and get it out, out, out


Wish life was easier for everybody


Wish I understood the why's


Wish I could spare my grandchildren from pain


Wish I liked the cold better


Wish I were a ray of sunshine


Wish I had more faith and could totally trust God in the dark

Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion,
and turneth the shadow of death into the morning,
and maketh the day dark with night:
that calleth forth the waters of the sea,
and poureth them out upon the face of the earth:
The LORD is his name.
Amos 5:8

10 comments:

Gannet Girl said...

I hadn't thought about this before - how many times a day now I think "I wish." Hundreds, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I loved this blog. I wish every day. I punish myself in a sense. I am almost afraid of each new day.
They seem to all flow the same. The top of your wish!!!!!!!!!!! I wish that for you to.
Love Sharon

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen,

Long time no talk too...But I think of you all the time. You and Joe...and Joey. I literally look at his picture everyday because he's on the Frig of Fame in the MacDonald kitchen. Even if it's a cursory glance, I'm always touched, somewhere in a recess of my heart, a place that remains hidden and mysterious. It's not the picture that touches me, it's Joey. I can't help but pause whenever I think of him or see that picture. I can't help but feel forlorn. I wish that I didn't, but to deny it would be dishonest. I'm not sure why I feel this way other than I loved him like a brother. And because he was your Joey, he was special to me. You and Joe are so special to me

I know we haven't talked for a while, nor have I seen you since you left Maui but when I read your blog today I wanted to be sure to tell you that you are a ray of sunshine to many people, including me.

You indeed are a ray of sunshine, brilliant sunshine even, but there has been a big cloud passing over for much longer and darker than you would like or want. Like a branch connected to the Vine, you are a brilliant ray of sunshine connected to the Son and you reflect His glory to many, even while the cloud passes over. One day that cruel cloud will pass...

Love you and Joe so much.
Your friend,
Steve Mac

Liza's Eyeview said...

I love what Steve Mac said. Joe and Karen, we love you and are here by your side in this tough times.

flowergardengirl said...

I wish you were the person I see when I hear you comment on my blog. I want that person to live right next door to me. That's the most wonderful person I have ever met but it's understood that there is underlying sorrow that often clouds the sunny days.

It's an ache and painful frustrating thing that is tiring to carry and saps your body not letting it ever fully function.

Well you could of sat up with me all last night and watched my brain fry. I became a blubbering maniac at 4am over a simple code trying to get that sidebar widget to work. It was simple but my brain was so tired that I just sat and stared. You would have understood that inability to focus. We could have perhaps laughed at our foolhardy mindlessness.

I always thought I was an observant person but I believe I've met my match with you. I observe the process of a situation but you observe both the process and the person--and also the motivation of the person doing the process.....then you explain it all. Wow Karen!, you can express it all back in a way that is uplifting and makes the other person want to scale 10 mountains and name all their children after you. You make me feel on top of the world after a comment on my blog. What an encourager you are and I can see why Joey was so confident and loved his momma so much.

I know you talked to him the way you comment to us and that made him feel like he could do anything and be the best doing it. After having a conversation with someone like you, it stays on your thoughts for a long time. I'm sure Joey is still remembering everything his momma said to him. Cause Karen is his momma. She didn't have a normal way of talking and she always knew the most touching things to say.

I'm holding your heart in mine today so it'll be safe, no worries. The rent has been paid

flowergardengirl said...

Hi! I just had to come before I went on to bed and give you a big hug in case you can't sleep. We had an ending balance of 360 today and I know more who are giving. It's going to be fun to watch huh? Well night night and talk at you tomorrow

karen gerstenberger said...

Thank you for the new quotes on the sidebar. They help me.
Thank you for sharing your wishes (wish = prayer). I join with you in all of them.
Thank yo ufor your honesty. I love knowing how you feel. It makes me feel less alone. One of the hardest things for me is the need for good company on this journey. It's not plentiful, so far, but you are good company.
FYI: I couldn't have hosted that banquet a year ago. I didn't do it the way I would have done it 4 years ago, and I waited until I was ready. Please don't push yourself...allow yourself to lie fallow until you know it's time to move. People do need you, but your needs are every bit as important as theirs. I still have many, many days of preferring the corner spot on the couch to anywhere else. Sending you much love.

Anonymous said...

Wish I could just check in with my son
You will!
Wish God would speak to me and settle my heart once and for all
He will!
Wish I would have a dream like Gannett Girl's dream (but I'm so glad she did)
You might!
Wish my friend's daughter didn't have a seizure today after losing her son to a seizure 2 years ago
He knows and cares!
Wish the Dodgers would win for my husband's sake
They might!
Wish I could lose 10 pounds and keep it off
You can but not necessary!
Wish I had the energy/motivation/organizational skills I once had
You will!
Wish I could give my children everything they need right now
You are with your love!
Wish my family wasn't feeling the stress of grief
You comfort them!
Wish we could talk more about how much it hurts
With time!
Wish I could write what I feel and get it out, out, out
You are!
Wish life was easier for everybody
You make it easier for them!
Wish I understood the whys
Someday in Heaven....
Wish I could spare my grandchildren from pain
You can’t but you love and comfort them
Wish I liked the cold better
Never!
Wish I were a ray of sunshine
You are!
Wish I had more faith and could totally trust God in the dark…You’re learning!

Forgive me for giving a man's answer...
Was just thinking of what God might say!
Love Gary

caitsmom said...

Wow! The picture with this first caption "Wish I could just check in with my son" brought silent tears. I am so sorry. If only we knew how to check in.

Anonymous said...

Powerful.

Luv,
Kev