Sunday, September 27, 2009
Joey's Last Picture
This picture was taken accidentally the night Joey flew back to LA from Maui. We had been together for the previous 10 days for his sister's graduation from Hawaii Pacific University--celebrated in the header picture above. Some of our friends happened to be at the airport greeting arriving visitors on the night we dropped Joey off. They unintentionally caught Joey going through TSA inspection on the edge of the picture they took as their friends arrived.
We take it as a message from Heaven. His back is turned to us, and he is going where we cannot go. The sign on the glass door says, "Do Not Enter". The "Up" arrow is reflected on the back of his t-shirt, which seems odd and a little miraculous to me. You can see this even better if you double-click on the photo. He has unloaded all his earthly burdens--his backpack and his shoes are in the plastic bin. This was just minutes after he had given his dad and I the most tender goodbye hug at the airport curb.
I wish he could have stayed with us that night. I wish he were still here. I wish for all my children and grandchildren that he were still part of their everyday existence. I wish I could talk with him and hug him. I wish he could hug me. I wish he could give his advice and take the risks of life with us. I wish he were here to make us all laugh. I wish he was here for Rachel and their future, the children that would have been.
I wish, I wish, I wish.
I miss him so very much. I miss his beautiful smile, and the sunshine of his face. I miss our happy reunions and family vacations. I miss watching him work and network, and make his plans. I miss his music and his strumming. I miss his zest and optimism.
I miss my innocence, my ignorance about the cruelty of death.
I miss my hope about the future.
I miss the past.
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
Posted by Karen at 9:22 AM