Three weeks ago, one of my dear friends, a wife and mother of three, took her own life. It has stunned me and sent me into a different kind of grief. I am in a state of reverberating shock, like a gong in a bell that just keeps going off. There are so many questions without answers, and the answers that we supply are based on speculation, so much so that they aren't really answers at all. It's a slow weep and a heavy weight overlayed with mystery. While we adults are sorting it out, there are three children forever impacted by this deep loss. What does it mean to them? How will they interpret their mother's death?
My pastor friend, Robin, who has survived both a family suicide and in a separate experience, her mother's death in a car accident when Robin was a child, has entered the sacred waters of writing about the impact of maternal suicide. It is hard to find information on this topic, outside of generalities and government statistics. People who will talk about the emotional cause and impact of maternal suicide, are rare and therefore valuable. I am linking to her blog here:
Metanoia. She has written three posts about maternal suicide and you will have to scroll down to find all three. I recommend you read them in order--part I, II and III, the last one which she posted today.
I appreciate her reminding us again, that no one "commits" suicide, anymore than they commit cancer. It is the end and final step of another kind of disease: deep depression.
5 comments:
Karen, I have followed your blog for a bit. Not sure how I happened upon it. My husband has a seizure disorder and is in denial that anything could come of it. Your son is the example that something can surely come of it! I am so sorry. I virtually bumped into you again recently because of your friend taking her life. I live on her street. My younger son is the same grade, same school as her son. For sure you have so many questions. Everyone must. I pray for you all, her family, by blood or by choice, every day. Bless you.
You're in my many thoughts and prayers. Love you!
This is so profound in thinking what is happening in your life. Seeing my friend that lost a husband and 5 children has brought me to my knees in trying to figure out what life is all about. I am worn out, I can only pray. I love you so much. Take care of yourself, life here is certainly a test and so hard. Sharon
Wrote this post when I was new in blogging. Can't fathom the depth of maternal suicide then... still can't now....all I know is it's deep grief for everyone left behind. And the kids ... oh the kids .... I will go to your Metanoia and will read her posts too. Thanks for sharing it..... http://www.lizas-eyeview.com/2007/03/i-want-to-commit-suicide.html
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