Dinner Conversation

When I host our weekly Family Dinner, I want it to be more than simply eating food. I want it to be a meaningful event for our whole family. Memorable. Substantial. Soul nourishing. I invest those hours cooking and cleaning up so that I can create togetherness and teachable moments for my whole family. I see this wonderful table time as an opportunity to talk about real things with our children and grandchildren and to really connect with their hearts and minds. Since we have some very funny people sitting around our table, the challenge is to integrate the serious stuff long enough to get them all thinking a little more deeply.

In the past year, there has been a bit of trial and error trying to find a formula that works with the wide range of ages, temperaments and attention levels that surround our table. This is where I am settled for now.

First of all, the cornerstone of the evening comes from scripture. One of the grandchildren or I will read a Bible verse from this little book, and start the discussion by asking what the verse means. We go around the table and listen to the various opinions on the meaning and applications of the verse. The discussion is generally short but engaging.

Next, following the same procedure, one of us asks a question from this book. This one is usually a personal response to the question, a reflection of the speaker's personality or uniqueness.

This requires listening, and honoring the varied responses. Not an easy task with a bunch of talkative and opinionated teens and pre-teens, but they are getting better and better at honestly expressing themselves and respecting one another's uniqueness.

Finally, after dinner is over, we play an interactive game. This one was given to us by Rachel for Christmas. The grandchildren LOVE this game. It provides many opportunities for hilarious answers and endless potty talk. Sometimes we have to outlaw all answers with the word "poop" in them, just to keep it from deteriorating into total silliness. Other times we play "Spoons", "Assassin", or put together a tray of random objects that are passed around the table and from which a group story is spun with each person keying off of their chosen object. That one is usually very funny too. We try to be spontaneous and creative with the games. As homework loads increase, the game time decreases. Still, even a half hour of games is fun for all of us.

When the weather improves and the sun goes down later, we will likely play softball or tag or something physical outside. I find that it is essential to have something totally fun and carefree to counterbalance the serious talk. As they say, a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.

My hope is that years of these meals, with interesting conversations and fun times will, in time, accumulate into something beautiful and sacred:

the creation of wise, loving, compassionate, fun-loving, faith-filled young adults who know who they are, where they have come from and where they are going... children that grow up to be adults who bring love and goodness into the world.

Anyway, that's my plan.

Psalm 71:17

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.