Thursday, April 08, 2010

High Anxiety






We'll be leaving sometime soon for Maui. For most people, this would elicit happiness and excitement.


For me it represents a mixture of dread and fear and sorrow.

So even though this is what will greet me on the other end of my flight...


And as much as I love eating here at Joey's favorite Maui restaurant...



and as much as I love these special friends...


and these....

and these...

and so many more that I can't picture them all...


and as much as I have missed this beautiful woman who has wept so much for us and for her beautiful daughter, Rachel...


I know I am going back to the spot of my son's memorial

and my broken heart...
right outside my window every day.

It's a place I try not to think about too much because it just hurts...




So I'm praying God will meet us there and take us by the hand and walk with us through our dark valley and speak words of comfort all the way along.


Pray for us if you can.


Isaiah 41:13
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

9 comments:

Jeri said...

Many thoughts and prayers for God's peace and comfort as you embark on your upcoming trip. We really look forward to seeing you & Joe and I'm excited to be playing worship again with Joe. You've been in my thoughts and prayers as I felt that it might be difficult for you all coming back.

God is faithful and I trust that He will walk you through your time here.

Love you so much,
Jeri

Anonymous said...

I don't believe anything by chance.
I think it won't be easy for you and Joe but will ultimately help in your healing. You know where Joey is. He's in a safe place, a promised place, a better place. It's hard seeing and reliving his memories but really those memories are God's gift to you! Your pain is a testament of how much you loved Joey. I believe Joey knows that.
When you look out at where his memorial service was held on the water I believe he will hear you when you talk to him; just something I've always believed.
Praying for your strength back on Maui.
Love you,
Gary

Robin said...

Karen, prayers with you, before you, after you, beside you, encircling you.

Anna flowergardengirl said...

I am scared to death to fly.

i don't know how to pray for this grief but the Holy Spirit does so I'll ask Him.

Hugging you tight and holding your heart in mine!!

Jenny said...

You know, God won't be meeting you there, He will be holding you the whole time. Sending love and prayers to you, friend.

Kay said...

I know it won't be easy, but I know you won't walk through this alone. Praying for you!

karen gerstenberger said...

I'm sending love and praying for God's immediate comfort, wherever you are, every moment. Such a sacred spot to re-visit, a hallowed place of happy memories and painful ones. I pray that the happiness will surge and grow and carry you.

The farther I go on this path, the more it seems it will never be "either/or" sadness/happiness, but always some combination of both. I cannot do the work of integrating those, but I try to trust that God can, for all of us. How hard the waiting can be! XOXOXO

jackie johnson said...

Love, Hugs and Prayers to you for these next steps in your journey! May you physically feel God's loving embrace and be touched with His transcending Peace that only He can give! Love you!

Katie said...

Karen and Joe,

Whenever I go home to Maui and visit the place where my mom is memorialized, it still hurts almost 14 years later. But it also feels so good to be surrounded by people who loved her and remember her the way that I do.

I know for certain that there are so many people in Maui who loved Joey and have such wonderful memories of him.

I know that every person's grief is unique, but this is what my expereince has given me. The love and support of those who carry her memory on make the emptiness of her loss more bearable.

I think of you all often. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and life's musings. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a voyuer by reading your blog, but you have such a gift for writing. It seems that writing is very theraputic for you, but it is also such a blessing for those of us who are able to read it!

Hope to see you again some day!

Aloha,

Katie Shannon